In 2020 we purchased a house in Angel Fire, NM. We loved going there and spending time. It was only 2 hours from Glorieta. By 2021 Melinda had started substitute teaching there and she was offered a teaching job in Eagles Nest but declined the job as we were not quite ready to move there full-time. Then by early 2022 we made the heartfelt decision that by summer we were going to move to Angel Fire full-time and she would start teaching in Eagles Nest and I would work remotely and travel as necessary to Glorieta.

The clock is always turning. Even though at times we wish it wouldn’t. 2022 has been an interesting year. My mother, Jeanie, passed away in February. We had our family up to snow ski in March including Greg, Laurie, Brock, and Garret, along with Cade, Melinda and me. Then we went on a wonderful RV trip to Utah with Scott and Melissa. Getting to hike in Moab, Bryce Canyon and Zion. We even did Angels Landing. I have three pairs of socks my sister gave me to commemorate the trip.  But by the end of the trip I wasn’t feeling great and was slowing down and at the back of the pack on our hikes. Then in April I was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer.

Things change.  Plans change. It's inevitable. It’s certainly good advice to write plans/things in pencil and not colored ink. Have a good eraser and be ready to use it. Eased but not forgotten.

By May I had started chemo. Rather than hiking and biking many miles a week I found solace in a mere walk of just 200 yards to Paul’s boat by our house. To say plans changed is an understatement. The need for breathing became more intentional - we actually do “need to breathe” and I had taken this for granted. By July we had sold our house in AF and purchased a house in Helotes, TX. Our new plan was to make things simpler and easier. Move closer to family. Get closer to sea level where the oxygen is heavier. And get to a bit warmer weather. We may have overdone (pun intended) the heat side of things with our choice of new homesites. Decomplicating our life was what we were shooting for. I was very concerned that if I had passed away during this time that I would have left Melinda with a lot of burden to bear by herself.  To be clear she wouldn’t have borne by herself she is blessed with many great friends and family and certainly blessed with a wonderful relationship and knowledge of God. 

Then by September we had moved, not to Angel Fire as planned but to Helotes, TX. Even then the clock didn’t stop, it kept running and continues to run even though we don’t want it to. Then ironically right before Thanksgiving of 2022, Melinda accepted her first substitute teaching job at Abbey’s (our niece) school. Which is today!  Irony. Or perhaps if we take a more full look we see that it’s not irony but it’s God’s plan all along. His purposes revealed. These changes along the way are not by any means to be considered due to our sinfulness or something we didn’t do or that we did, rather the things that unfold in our life is His plan and will for us.  His walk for us. He reveals Himself to us through these changes and pivots that we make to perhaps find a better closeness to one another and certainly more closeness to Him.

It reminded me of the psalmist David’s words “A man’s heart plans his way but the Lord directs his steps”, Psalm 16:9.

Don’t cower or be fearful through these times. Like Moses said to Joshua, have I not commanded you, be strong and of good courage, do not be afraid nor be dismayed. Because the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9.

Our plans and goals for our family and our lives may be erased but they are not forgotten.   Rather as we consider them we consider them through this new lens.  This lens reflects light and not darkness.  It sees good in the workings of all things because God loves us and we are His called.   But we need not forget these things, these plans which have been rewritten.  We adapt, we change, we turn to the Lord.  We set our minds on Him.  We focus not on earthly things that don't last but on His eternal things up above.  We accept that our heart may want something.  We acknowledge that some things we may never receive or have.  Contentment.  Some things may take much longer than we expected. Patience.  That we may want something so much that we can’t let it go. Endurance.  We can.  Others can.  Others have.  He Can.  And He did. 

The prophet Daniel wanted to leave Babylon and return to Jerusalem.   But he didn’t.  He stayed behind in Babylon.  He prayed.  He prayed for the most Holy, the anointed one.  He prayed for the restoration of Jerusalem until the Messiah.  There was still work God had for him to do.  Light still needed to be shined. The revelation of God still needed to be fully revealed.  

In the garden of Gethsemane even Jesus likely felt this way. When He asked his disciples to watch and pray while he was praying and suffering through what he knew was coming. He was sorrowful even to the point of death, he even asked the Father “if it is possible, let this cup pass from me.  Three times he leaves and three times he returns to them each time asking them to stay awake and watch and pray.   Each time he finds them sleeping.   He relents.  He relents from doing what I would have done and chooses to do no harm and moves forward with the plan He knows and no one else understands.  God's revelation is revealed through Him who came and lived on earth as a man, He taught, He equipped, He suffered and atoned for the sins of the world, He died, He was buried, He was raised again and was seen by Peter and the 12.  He is the only one that knew all of this and this was His plan and the Way that would be revealed and had been foretold.  God’s plan revealed in color.

Only God knows His plan for us. He has known this since the beginning of time. The elect. The called. The chosen. Those words are difficult to grasp but as we consider His inspired words it should bring us as believers much closer to Him and the Holy Spirit and less fearful of the changes in our plans that may have been erased or had to be rewritten. Perhaps when Paul was writing while under house arrest to the Philippians and said “for me to live is Christ but to die is gain” is the mindfulness and heart-fullness we need or will help comfort us as we go about our earthly lives until He raises us with Him for eternity. Our lives are most assuredly not erased or forgotten. The changes, the pivots, the ups and the down are all part of His plan.  His plan for us.  His plan for everyone.  He died for us!  He didn’t come to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 

May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace!

Pat